Capture the flag is realistically the most raw game ever created. No luck involved, only passion, a killer instinct, and gym shorts you packed for school. It is the true measure of a person at the most barbaric level. Because of this, I have decided to draft my all time Capture the flag team. An elite group that are will both shine individually, and come together as a unit. Lets dive in:
1st Round Pick: Harriet Tubman
The underground railroad was literally the biggest capture the flag game in human history, and Harriet Tubman pulled off an upset that we still talk about hundreds of years later. You can’t tell me that Tubman didn’t need to have some serious lateral quickness to make that happen. Her vertical was through the glass ceiling. Tubman dedicated her life running the read-option all over the south. Picture this: your whole team is in capture the flag prison, only one person left to go free them. I dare you to find someone with more experience that Harriet Tubman. Tubman was born with the clutch gene. The scariest part is, you get Harriet some actual training, there’s no limit on what she could do. Set up some cone drills, get her in the film room. Absolute game changer and definitely someone I want in my locker room.
2nd Round Pick: OJ Simpson
Yes, OJ was a great football player, and a great athlete. No, that is not why I want “The Juice” on my team. No, I don’t care about his career or natural skill. The only thing that sold me on taking this man with my second round pick is his ability to drive that fucking white bronco. If you really think about it, that infamous car chase was also a capture the flag game. No different then rushing to get back to base before the other team tags you to jail. The only difference is…wait no that actually perfectly describes the OJ car chase. But I need him. I need someone who can perform on the big stage. With millions watching, and helicopters documenting your every move. Give me that killer instinct all day.
3rd Round Pick: Mel Gibson (In full costume and character from The Patriot)
Mel Gibson is fucking crazy. I need him. I need a guy who will get in the corners, who will win the 1v1 battles. A 3rd line guy. The Belichick in me foresees Mel slipping down to the third round, because he doesn’t wow you with his stats, and his questionable off the field antics turn some teams off. What I do see, is a man who ran train on the country of England in “The Patriot” (Top 10 movie ever). Who would have ever thought that if you give Mel Gibson a ponytail and an ax, that he could personally take down the British Empire in the Revolutionary War. The last battle scene in The Patriot is all the film I need to pull the trigger on the man. The guy just has an absolute motor. The definition of a workhorse. Can you imagine OJ Simpson and Mel Gibson teaming up to do anything, let alone a capture the flag game? Some shits going down. Two huge liabilities, but I didn’t get in this business to make friends. Overall a huge steal at #3. Classic me seeing value where no one else does.
Rounds 4-7 coming soon, bitches.