Should ordering a small pizza put you on the terrorist watch list?

Given the world that we live in, I don’t like to throw this accusation around that much. That being said, if you order a small pizza, you are a terrorist in my mind. I literally assume you are wearing a suicide vest, and will react accordingly. Everyone knows that you either get a large pizza, or slices to go. It is something that everyone sane person is born knowing. Basic biology of the normal human brain.

Think about the logistics. Ordering a small pizza is all the hassle of ordering a large pizza, without the leftovers. If you’re picking it up, you still have to call ahead. You still have to plan your trip to the store so that you’re not too early where you have to sit there and watch foreign soccer games, and not too late that the pizza starts to get cold. If your getting it delivered, you still have to wait hours for the guy with the chin strap in the tinted out Honda Civic to drop off your food. Absolutely not worth it for like an 8 inch pizza.

You either commit to the large pizza, or you get quick slices and continue with the day. If I ever find myself eating a small pizza, I will literally reopen Guantanamo Bay and raise my family there. End of Story. Stop ordering small pizzas.

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