Would I be good at being gay?

Women obviously see me as a sex icon. They can’t resist the four loko fast life. They see me walk out of Dominoes and their ovaries are in their throat (I’m not completely sure what ovaries are) . I don’t even notice it anymore. Its background noise to me. Its boring. Groundhog dog. That brings up an interesting hypothetical: could I have the same success in the gay community?

On one hand I think I could. I’m a guy’s guy. I’ve always had an easy time making friends with other guys. I think I could take it to the next level. I went to a gay bar this summer, and I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality to say that I crushed it. I was the hot girl at the bar. The one everyone was afraid to approach. Guys giggling across the room. I won’t lie I ate it up. Was an absolute tease. Toying with people’s emotions.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m not a huge pretty boy. I’m a grinder. Blue collar mentality with white collar dreams. Man musk all around me. I also don’t shower often and leave a lot of food in my room. I feel like these are all strikes against me if I’m trying to switch hit. So yea, I think I’m gonna stay with women. I think that’s the move. I’m also not attracted to men so I think that’s also sort of a big issue.

Sup ladies I’m not gay.

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