Everyone knows there’s no offseason for me, and that’s why I taking summer classes. If you’re like me, and never stop not stopping, then you’re probably in the same boat. #NoDaysOff #Grind365. With that being said, I like to think I’ve mastered taking summer classes, if not classes in general. I get its hard to stay focused during classes, let alone the summer when the weather becomes as hot as girls when they smell my four loko musk. Because of this, I am letting everyone in on some of my secrets to all my success in the summer classroom:
Wear a bathing suit to the first day of classes
With today being the first day of classes, you know damn well I immediately put on my best bathing suit. This might go over some people’s heads, but let me explain. Wearing a bathing suit to class lets your professor and classmates know that your life is a beach. It sends that message that you’re on island time. A bathing suit, if worn correctly, really lets me put my dancer legs on display for all the girls (and guys) to enjoy. We’re all in this together. Got give the people what they want. Give them a reason to get up in the morning. That’s me looking out for people’s mental health.
Locate the Asians
Self Explanatory. Use them to your advantage.
Bomb a quiz once in a while
A little trick I like to pull a couple times a semester is bomb a quiz or two. It lets the professor know you’re a bit of a wild card, and keeps them on their toes. It also gives you some instant street cred, and puts you as the front-runner as the class bad boy.
Randomly sit in a different seat
Everyone knows I live for mental warfare. Nothing throws someone off their game more than them walking into class only to see you sitting in the seat that they though they had locked down for the semester.
Look at weird websites on your laptop during class
This is another one of my favorite mental warfare tactics. Sometimes I like to google some weird stuff or play disturbing videos on my laptop just to traumatize the kid sitting behind me. Gonna be hard to pay attention while I’m looking up “how to get rid of a boner in class”. That’s just me being competitive. Fighting to beat the curve.
Try your best