A girl fight just broke out in my driveway. Typical Tuesday for me.

 

 

Oh how was your Tuesday? Pretty average right. Probably went to class/work, surfed the web, answered a few emails, took a few notes? Nope. Not me. That’s not the life I live. I casually woke up from a nap to hear some commotion outside my window in my driveway. I looked out and could not believe what was unfolding before my eyes. Once I saw the circle form and the phones come out, I knew exactly what was about to unfold. That’s my street senses coming to life. That’s a skill you can only acquire when you’re #RoxburyRaised. That’s me always being on my toes despite just waking up from a two hour nap at 2pm (I woke up at 11 today, quality over quantity).

All of a sudden I’m ring side to 2 THOTS going at each other right in my driveway. An absolute heavyweight match. Ali vs Frasier. Manny vs Mayweather. It was not pretty. That bitch got rocked. Homegirl caught the hands. Whom’s mans is this? Shorty caught the one two real quick. Its not everyday that two thiccc ass hoes come through and start clapping each other. #Blessed #HoodRich. That’s the magic of living in Roxbury. This is the energy I thrive off of. Not many people can say that their driveway has been used for both beer die and girl fights. That’s what makes this place special.

Girl fights might be the most entertaining activity in the world. Its the one athletic thing I’d watch girls do over boys. Girls are savages when they fight. Guys want to hurt each other, but girls want to kill each other. If no one intervened that fight, I have no doubt I would have had to call my landlord and have him shovel a dead body off the property. Is that in the lease? I hope so. I also love the technique that girls use. There’s nothing I respect more than a good weave pull.

I also love that in the history of girl fights, not one girl has been appropriately dressed for a fight. At one point one of the girls butts is fully exposed. I always heard Roxbury had a crack problem, and I guess this is what they were talking about. Like maybe consider wearing gym shorts and a t shirt to school that day? If I’m a girl and know I’m getting in a fight tomorrow, you know I’m showing up prepared. I’m showing up with a shaved head, UnderArmour, a mouthguard, and a trainer. I’m a showman. I’m going to give the people what they want. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Then again, that’s the charm of girl fights. Never know when its gonna turn into soft porn.

I always worry that I’ll run out of material to write about. I worry that I’ll go stale, and people will get sick of me talking about the same things. Then stuff like this keeps happening to me. My life is not real. Everyday its something different. Whether its a twelve year old girl trying to purchase my twin bed, or two bad ass bitches mucking each other in my driveway, this life never disappoints. What did I do to deserve this? What a life.

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