Player banned from French Open for trying to kiss female reporter

French tennis player Maxime Hamou has been banned from the 2017 French Open after he tried to kiss female television reporter Maly Thomas live on air following his first-round defeat Monday.

Per BBC News, the 21-year-old has had his accreditation revoked, while the French Tennis Federation have ordered an investigation into the incident and labelled Hamou’s behaviour “reprehensible.”

Shooters fucking shoot. The only issue I have with this kid is that he did it after he lost his match. There’s a thin line between sexual assault and affection, and that line is whether you win or lose your tennis match. If this is a post win interview, then this is a non-story. Its just a guy being a dude. I’m pretty sure you get amnesty for an hour after you win any type of professional competition. It seems fair. You adrenaline is pumping, you’re gonna kiss a reporter or two. That’s just science. Its like when I get excited to see my friends and instinctually kiss them on the lips. Its not gay, I’m just happy to see them. I’ll never apologize for being gay for friendship.

You can’t be doing this type of stuff when you lose. It just proves my Johnny Manziel theory. As long as you keep winning you can literally do anything you want. Johnny Football beat up his girlfriend and almost killed them both in a car crash, but it wasn’t seen as a huge issue until he got to Cleveland. That’s why I don’t why people get mad at Gronk for partying. I don’t care what that guy does as long as he keeps terrorizing the AFC East. He could literally show up with a heroin needle in his arm. I don’t care, as long as he keeps his ACL healthy. I’m convinced Aaron Hernandez would have gotten off innocent if the Pats won in ’07. Eli Manning literally killed Aaron Hernandez. Yea, the Manning brothers aren’t as perfect as you thought.

Also, this kid has to be way more self aware. Yea you’re a pro athlete, but you’re also a tennis player. They cancel out, and then some. Yea it can be seen as a little sexy when female tennis players grunt when playing, but when guys do it, it comes off a little rapey to me. If I wanted to listen to two guys grunt for a couple hours…I’m not going to finish that joke.

The silver lining of this story is that he has really solidified himself as the bad boy of tennis, which really isn’t that hard to do. Getting banned from the French Open is hilarious. Tennis is probably the easiest sport to become a villain in. In football or hockey, you have to borderline kill someone to be considered an enforcer or a villain. In tennis you just gotta creepily kiss a reporter on the cheek. If I’m him, I’m embracing the reputation. I’d start blowing kisses after ever ace. When I go to shake hands with my opponent after a match I’d hit him with a quick forehead kiss. It would be out of respect, but also to get in his head a little. It lets him know I appreciate his competition, but also that I leave my hotel room unlocked. Mental warfare at its finest.

Anyway, this kid needs to be better, and also be smart enough to never do anything in front of a camera. Literally rule 1 of life. Figure it out, and get better at tennis.

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