Weird News

Best study abroad ever finally ends after college student is released from North Korean Prison

Pyongyang, North Korea (CNN) American college student Otto Warmbier has been released after more than 17 months in detention in North Korea but has been in a coma for over a year, according to his parents. The 22-year-old contracted botulism and is in “bad shape” but en route back to the United States, a source close to the family told CNN.

I usually hate when people won’t stop talking about how life changing their study abroad experience was, but this might be an exception. I need to know everything. A lot of study abroad programs seem repetitive, as every girl posts the same picture at the same place with the same pun, talking about how cultured they are, as they stay in the most American parts of Europe with a bunch of other American kids.

On the other hand, this kid has the right to say he’s cultured. I think he’s earned it. This should be the new standard when it comes to studying abroad. I want to leave the country not knowing if I’ll come back. I want to have a price on my head. I want the U.S. government negotiating with terrorists for me. Put me in a coma for a year. I don’t care. Its all about the experience. Right? What’s the point of studying abroad if you don’t constantly fear for your life? Living in Roxbury, I’ve seen more shit and met more interesting people than anyone ever will in any part of Europe or Asia.

I think the reason I like this study abroad so much, is because its really drives home the point that everywhere outside of the United States absolutely sucks. I feel like when I went abroad (yea I studied in Italy, ask me about it, ladies), I feel like the host school sort of put on a show for us. They put their best foot forward, and showed us all the good parts. That was nice and all, but I want more. Show me the true shittiness of your country. That’s the North Korean charm you can’t get anywhere else. They won’t hold back. They give you the whole nine yards. The torture, the jail, beating you into a coma.

I’m also incredibly jealous of the stories this kid is coming home with. I pray he doesn’t start a blog because I’m out of business once that happens. If your reading this, feel free to come write here. Name a price. I need your stories on this site.

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