I feel that, because of my wordsmith like persona, it goes under the radar that I’m a finance major. My ability to woo both men and women with my exemplary writing skills sort of shadows my ability to absolutely murder Excel spreadsheets. Like, yea I’ve captivated the hearts of millions through my Weymouth John video, but I can also randomly calculate the cost of debt in a capital structure. I know, weird. Just classic me living an ambidextrous life.
With that being said, and with me somehow about to finish my last finance class of college, I feel like I owe the loyal readers some financial advice. Some money tips. A little insider trading on my brain. Take notes, and your welcome for the free money.
You can’t be broke if you don’t check your bank balance
Ignorance is bliss, and that goes double for your personal finances. If you ever wake up and feel like you spent way too much money the night before, don’t check your balance. That’s going to cause some panic, and you should never make financial decisions when you’re emotional, unless that emotion is hunger. Then yes, order the Domino’s, deal with the money situation later.
Credit Cards are basically free money
I was going to make a joke how you just shouldn’t pay your credit card bill, but I remembered people actually do that so its not even that ridiculous of a concept. Nevertheless, just keep closing your eyes and keep swiping. Credit Bubble? That sounds stupid. Credit cards are always a great idea, especially the younger you are. Credit cards are the perfect solution for if you can’t afford something. Credit cards are like periods to me. You got to deal with them once a month, and I really don’t know how either of them work.
Saving is for cowards
I only have about 3 more quality years of life, so I really don’t understand the whole concept of saving. I’ve decided my life is either going to go two ways. Either I become a New York Times Best Selling Author, in which case I’ll be rich enough to not have had to save, or I’ll be homeless, which would make saving even stupider. You never see a homeless guy with a savings account. That would be ridiculous.
Now is a really good time to invest in blogs
Honestly, I think this is just a really smart, unbiased, tip. Blogs are a great investment. If you ever have like $1-2 million dollars around, the best thing you can do with it is invest in a website as similar as possible to mine. My last quarter was strong, and my earnings report is about to be even stronger. Its truly in your best interest to get in on the ground floor. That or just feel free to Venmo me like $5.
If you ever have a chance to buy a t-shirt from a stupid website you should buy 2
I sort of feel like its condescending to even tell you guys this, but its important. T-shirts are always a great investment. The more t-shirts you have the higher your net worth. Assets = Liabilities + T-shirts. EBIT stands for earnings before interest and T-shirts. When people talk about how T-Bills are risk free, they’re actually talking about T-shirts. I know, finance jargon can be confusing. Nonetheless, its a great economic climate to buy a TFATB shirt. TVM: T-shirt value of money.