Obviously I’m a huge catch. Blog icon, Businessman, Entrepreneur, Internet Warrior, Instagram Model, Student of life, Socialite, just to name a few. For some reason though, I feel like girls my age don’t see my true value. They lack the maturity to see past my boy band features and Hollywood lifestyle. Its really been messing with me lately, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I came across a little website called “Seeking Arrangements”. What is this website? You might ask. Its my future. My way out. It basically connects sugar daddies with sugar daughters, or sugar mommies with sugar sons. Yes it gives off a little bit of an incest vibe but so does the Royal Family. See a connection?
Anyway, I quickly browsed the sight and immediately realized that it was the perfect opportunity for someone as young, successful, and desirable as me. So I wasted no time and began creating my profile.
First, I had to pick whether I wanted to be a sugar baby or sugar parent. I honestly think I qualify for both, but I feel like I would fit better with someone more mature than me. My mind is on par with a wise old man, and my boy-like hips would catch the eye of any baby-boomer.
Then it asked if I was interested in a sugar daddy, or a sugar mommy. I would definitely prefer a sugar mommy, but I learned from Weymouth John how important it is not to mix your sexuality with business. I went on to pick both. It was soley a business decision.
Next was to choose a picture, and username. I had to go with the classics. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
Next was my bio. This is where I knew I had to stand-out. Obviously my profile pic is a show stopper, but there’s some stiff competition out there, and I’m looking for the best of the best. This is where I used my wordsmith-like poetry skills, and my Shakespearean sex appeal to make the magic happen.
Lastly, I had to fill out some info about myself. Most of it was pretty routine stuff, but I had trouble defining my occupation, but I think I described it pretty well.
My account has been live for a little over an hour, and I already have some sugar daddies pursuing me. Lets look at some of my potential matches:
Really can’t go wrong with a the username “Frogprince”. I’ll give him a 9/10 for username, but the headline is a little weak. I’ll keep him on the back burner.
10/10 picture, 11/10 username. Cuddlez67 is so perfect because he definitely tried to be Cuddlez69 but it was already taken. I also love that he’s 49 looking for a sugar daddy. Age is just a number, and Cuddlez knows that. Self awareness is also on point here. He’s not afraid to describe himself as overweight, That’s a real man. Also probably a rapist.
Its not everyday you meet a 48 year old man who refers to himself as “JoyRider69”. That’s the beauty of this website. It just introduces you to a different tier of people. Love a guy who works hard and plays hard as well. I wonder if he came up with that slogan by himself? Once again, probably a rapist.
Seeking an attractive attentive prince? Well you came to the right place, RexW. You literally can’t describe me any better. The perfect guy to fulfill my fairy tale fantasy with. Can’t wait to be out at a bar or a party and tell everyone how I’m now a prince. Girls will be like “who’s the kid with the cape and crown hanging out with that old guy?” Girls love what they can’t have. Royal Wedding part 2. Will and Kate except I’m Kate and Will is a rapist.
Overall, I’m quite happy with my quest to find a sugar daddy. I’ll keep everyone updated on what happens next. If not, maybe check-in on me/call the police because there’s 100% chance I end up in a car trunk. All suspects are listed above.