Internet Battles

Do I have to sue TFM?

So yesterday I’m minding my own business, living life to the fullest, when a friend sent me this post from Total Frat Move. You might have heard of them. A little bigger site than mine. Whatever. David vs. Goliath. The only time I back down is when I’m in the post. Anyway, its an article about products to have in your bedroom. Seems normal. It’s unoriginal and sponsored, but normal. Then I see the cover photo. Its a picture of a blow up pool next to a twin bed. Hmmm seems familiar. Then the author goes on acting like he’s the first one to think of this. That’s he’s cured cancer. That he’s ended racism. Guess what. I’ve had a pool in my room for months. Keep up. Its just sad at this point. Like how am I always so ahead of everyone? The minute you think of something funny, I’ve already thought of it a month ago, and decided it wasn’t funny enough for my site. Ya’ll got next? I got now.

Here’s a screenshot of the article:

tfm post

Be less original. I start this site and all of a sudden everyone and their mother has twin beds and blow up pools in their rooms. That’s not a coincidence if you ask me. That’s power. You can also tell that picture is posed. No one who puts a pool in their room makes their bed. I don’t know a lot but I know that. Take a look at my pool, and you know immediately how genuine and pure my intentions are.

My Pool  & Room for reference:

pool

That’s a blue collar room right there. That’s the room of someone who values space optimization over organization. The room of someone who had chips and salsa for breakfast this morning. I don’t put my laundry away because I refuse to fold at anything I do in life. Yea the pool is currently empty, but that’s because there was a urine issue that I won’t go into detail about.

This is the difference between me and these corporate sites. Everything they do is for show. Everything is so fake and calculated. Not me. I shoot from the hip. Was I thinking about pageviews when I bought my pool at Target on a Sunday afternoon after drinking all day? No. Was I thinking about all the ad revenue and attention I would get? No. All I thought about was how much fun I would have sitting in it with my friends, enjoying each other’s company. I wasn’t even going to mention the pool on this site, because its basically a cheat code for women, and I’m better than that. But here we are.

So thank you TFM, for making me tell everyone about the how much fun the pool in my room is. Thank you, for making me have to make money off my personal life. Now all the girls reading this will know I have a pool in my room. Do you know what type of burden that puts on a young man like myself? You wouldn’t last a day in my pool (mostly because of sanitary issues).

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