Over the last few days, I’ve been going full on Zuckerberg on the blog game. I created a TFATB Instagram, read like 3 articles on SEO, and implemented a complete overhaul of the site. Its like my brain is a miniature Silicon Valley. I’m living in an internet bubble. Every time I fart its a dot-com boom. I was up til like 4am last night sitting in my room teaching myself computer science. Still went to both my classes today. No big deal. My warm up is your work out. After working throughout the night, and living in the shadows with my fellow mice, this is what the new site looks like:
Not to toot my own horn, but it almost looks like a real website. Kids go to school for years to do what I did in a couple hours. I’m so proud of myself I want to put a bullet in my head. I want to kill myself because I know I will never do anything as good. That’s the true meaning of success. I’m out here making Bill Gates my bitch. Steve Jobs is hard as a rock in his grave right now. Just a typical Wednesday for me though.
Realistically, I know its not that good, so if anyone who knows anything about computers wants to help out, let me know and I’ll give you a t-shirt and maybe a Natty Daddy/Four Loko. Thank you, now back to my internet persona.
So watch out Buzzfeed, watch out Facebook, watch out Pornhub. I’m coming for your neck. Don’t put me in a corner, I’ll code my way out (with basic HTML). I’m like the Elon Musk of making fun of people on the internet. A true innovator. Leonardo Da Vinci meets Leonardo DiCaprio. What a life.