My thoughts on Net Neutrality

Net Neutrality has been a big internet word that’s been going around lately. Before today, I put absolutely zero thought into it and have done no research. I’m sitting in stats class currently, and just decided to google the term. I clicked on a site called “save the internet” and this is the summary that the site gave me:

When you go online you have certain expectations. You expect to be connected to whatever website you want. You expect that your cable or phone company isn’t messing with the data and is connecting you to all websites, applications and content you choose. You expect to be in control of your internet experience.

When you use the internet you expect Net Neutrality.

Net Neutrality is the basic principle that prohibits internet service providers like AT&T, Comcast and Verizon from speeding up, slowing down or blocking any content, applications or websites you want to use. Net Neutrality is the way that the internet has always worked.

I try to stay away from politics, because I’m not usually that educated in the subject, and have the self awareness to understand that no one wants to hear a 21 year old kid preach his political thoughts, like I have any clue how the world actually works. I’m not going to change anyone’s political beliefs that they’ve held all their life with a blog post, and anyone who thinks that they can is a pretentious asshole (Huffington Post). That being said, I feel like as the owner of an internet juggernaut, this sort of applies to me, so here are my thoughts on Net Neutrality:

When I go online I have zero expectations. Since when do we have expectations of the internet like its our golden child? The internet owes nothing to us. We went like a billion years without it. We can’t keep net neutrality, because net neutrality has never existed. Everything you have ever read is bias (except TFATB). Would it be ethical for sites and servers to give everyone access to unbiased and fair information? Yea it’d be nice. But I’ve surfed the web in enough classes to figure out that’s never going to happen. Everything on the internet has an agenda. Everything on the internet is selling you something.

I think that putting laws on the internet is like trying to butt funnel the Atlantic Ocean. Its impossible to do, but its fun to see people try. You can order humans on the internet. There’s so much porn on the internet it would take you ten lifetimes to watch all of it. And worst of all, Buzzfeed Quizzes. To think that we can regulate all of this is ridiculous.

Also, am I the only one who sees the irony of all these bias articles concerning internet bias? Bias is everywhere. The internet didn’t invent bias, and there’s no law that will get rid of it. People are bias by nature, and since people run the internet, the internet is also bias by nature. The internet is a function of society, so trying to fix the internet to fix society is backwards. It would be like taking a shower before you shit, or brushing your teeth before throwing up.

Lastly, I call BS on this law stopping servers from slowing down certain sites. I have Sprint, and they must hate every site, because nothing ever loads. I have unlimited data, which is awesome, except I can only use it in like 3 different places in the world. The minute I go anywhere my phone turns into a LeapFrog toy.

Anyway, this post turned out more serious than I expected, but I have real thoughts sometimes. I wrote an article earlier about how I can’t stop peeing on beaches, so I think I’ve earned a somewhat thoughtful post. Deal with it. TFATB will always be neutral as shit. Not to pat myself on the back, but I think I might be the most ethical person on the internet. No big deal, but sort of a big deal. Classic me having a ton of layers to my personalty. Basically a human onion.

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