I think I need to hire OJ Simpson as my intern

If you haven’t heard by now, The Juice is free. I really can’t reflect on the OJ trial that well, because I wasn’t born when the Bronco chase and everything else happened, so my reaction to this probably isn’t as strong as it would be if I was older. I literally wake up everyday wishing the infamous Bronco chase happens 23 years later when I have this blog. With all that being said, the biggest news for me is what OJ wants to do, now that he’s a free man:

Huge waves today in the blogosphere. An internet tsunami. OJ Simpson takes one step out of the big house, and the first thing he’s thinking about is opening a WordPress Account. The second this guy walked out of the gates, he thinking about SEO. I like to imagine OJ’s jail cell wall with potential domain names written all over it. I imagine him spending the last decade just writing blogs on yellow legal pads, just waiting on this moment to come.

I’ll be honest, I’m scared. Blogging is already war, and war is hell. Shit is really real out here. Every time I open up my laptop its a bar fight. It might look like all fun and butt stuff from the outside, but this is a business, and a competitive one. The last thing I need is to be fighting for market share against an ex NFL star/(alleged) murderer.

There’s no doubt that OJ will be great at it. He has that killer instinct that every blogger needs to survive. He’s actually everything I talk about being. He’s a bad boy, a showman, and refuses to stop. He is my biggest threat right now, and OJ is a guy you don’t want to be enemies with. With that, I think I need to hire him as my intern. I need him. He’s my ace. My ringer. I need a wildcard. Someone with some street cred. If I got OJ, it would be game over. Hiring fresh faced college kids as interns is so overused. I want someone with experience. I want someone who’s seen some shit. Someone who can teach me a thing or two about love.

I think I could definitely get him at a discount price as well. I’m all about buying low and selling high. Get OJ while he’s fresh out of prison and vulnerable, give him a second chance and a username, then eventually cash out/get murdered. That’s a fool proof business plan. Facebook 2.0 if you ask me.

So as of right now, OJ Simpson has an open offer to write for my site. I hope he doesn’t take that lightly. I don’t go around giving people jobs everyday. I had to pull the trigger on this one though. All those years of prison have to produce some pretty good posts. Is he a perfect fit? Maybe not, but neither was the glove.

 

 

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