In 2015, MTV tried to jazz up its Video Music Awards by giving the trophy it hands out—known as “the Moonman”—a colorful makeover. That rebranding didn’t end up being a big deal, but now MTV has decided to give the statue a whole new name. As revealed in The New York Times today, MTV president Chris McCarthy has decided that it didn’t make sense for the trophy to be a man, saying, “It could be a man, it could be a woman, it could be transgender, it could be nonconformist.”
So, in order to further embrace inclusivity, the statue will now be called the Moon Person. It probably won’t look any different, since there’s really just the one kind of spacesuit, but you can count on MTV to ensure that everybody onstage at least makes sure to refer to the thing as a Moon Person and not a Moon Man when Katy Perry hosts this year’s VMAs on August 27.
It’s over. Sexism is dead. It was that easy. Everyone go home now. This is the stuff that dreams are made of. I can finally sleep well knowing my future daughter can one day become a talent less actor and win a Moon Person award, and not a Moon Man award. Take that, Patriarchy. Who cares that she’ll make 30% less than men? It won’t matter anymore, because of moon persons. Is there anything more prestigious than a VMA award? I didn’t know a piece of medal could be sexist, but then again, I’m just an ignorant white guy, who by default, is incredibly privileged and hates women. So thank god for the progressive thinkers over at MTV for being so brave and renaming an award for an award show that no one really wants to go to, but their agents and publicists make them go. You’re the real heroes.
The VMA’s are going to be a must watch event this year. I love watching rich people pat each other on the back about how progressive they are. Nothing better than people who started out in porn talking about how they’re “artists” and how they do it for the “arts” before they go home to their million dollar mansions. Truly inspiring stuff.