RIP to the girl who OD’d on heroin after setting her BF on fire then pissing on him

A Pennsylvania woman accused of setting her sleeping boyfriend on fire and throwing buckets of urine on him to extinguish the flames has died of an apparent heroin overdose.

The body of 39-year-old Leigh Ann Sepelyak was found Monday night in her Tarentum home. Police say evidence found at the scene indicates she died of a heroin overdose.

Penn Hills police alleged she and her boyfriend argued and after he fell asleep, she threw gasoline on him and set him afire. He suffered burns on 25 percent of his body.

She said she actually saved him after he accidentally sparked the fire.

The couple had been urinating in buckets so they wouldn’t disturb her parents who lived upstairs.

Girlfriends, can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Am I right? There’s so much to break down from this story, but I’m currently sitting in a two hour stats review session, so I might as well do it now.

First off, how deep of a sleeper do you have to be to not wake up after someone pours gasoline on you? Imagine waking up on fire, only to have your girlfriend throw buckets of piss on you? Bitches be trippin. Is this the 2017 version of the Ice Bucket Challenge? I think it might have potential.

I also think this young lady just made a major break through when it comes to putting out fires. For centuries, we’ve been putting out fires with water like absolute cavemen. Who knew the whole time, we could have been using our own urine. Talk about water conservation. I think this is the next step for a green world. Take that, vegans.

I love how she spun the story to try to come off as the hero who saved him. A classic situation of controlling the story before it controls you. Gotta get ahead of the ball. I love it.

Lastly, how about the article casually mentioning in the last line that the couple has been urinating in buckets so they don’t wake the parents. I would give them shit for it, but honestly my friends and I did this in high school when we drank in my basement. We couldn’t risk walking upstairs past my parents when we were drinking, so we would just fill up two liters with our own urine all night. Typical guy stuff. One time we forgot to throw out the piss jug, and my dad found it in the morning. Safe to say that wasn’t the nicest phone call I’ve received from my father. I don’t even think he was mad, he was just disturbed. That’s something you can’t learn from baby books. You can prepare for fatherhood all you want, but you’ll never be ready for that. That just comes with the territory of raising whatever I am.

Also sad that the girl died from heroin, it’s an awful epidemic, it’s a disease, it can happen to anyone, blah blah blah and a rest of other things that will make me look like less of an asshole for making fun of her. If you don’t want me to make fun of you, don’t do heroin and piss on your boyfriend. Pretty simple formula. Basic algebra.

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2 comments

  1. Honestly, you didn’t have to work too hard here. I was already cracking up when I read “buckets of urine”. How do you possess *buckets* of urine!

    Like

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