Nurses in trouble for flipping of newborns and having them dance to 50 Cent

Two medical staffers at a military hospital in Florida were barred from caring for patients after they were seen in disturbing images mishandling a newborn, making obscene gestures and calling babies “mini Satans.”

One video shows a female staffer in gloves and medical scrubs holding the infant by the armpit, moving the arms and body as music played in the background. One photo shows a staffer flipping a middle finger at the infant. Its caption reads: “How I currently feel about these mini Satans.”

Am I the only one who sees absolutely nothing wrong with this? If you’re not allowed to use your newborn baby as a puppet and swing them around to a 50 Cent song, then I don’t think I want to have kids. I thought the whole point of having children was to have miniature people to mess around with all day. I guess not.

Also, who cares about babies being flipped off? It’s not like they’re going to take it to heart. You’re not ruining the kid’s day. Even as an adult, if you actually get mad at someone showing you their middle finger, you have some serious issues. I don’t remember anything before around the age of four, so my parents could have been giving me the finger every day for the first four years of my life, and I wouldn’t remember a second of it. Then again, that would explain a lot. Talking to a baby is like talking to your dog, or an old person. You can say the most awful things imaginable, but they’ll love it, just as long as you say it in a nice voice while smiling.

Lastly, I don’t get the issue with calling the babies “mini satans”. That’s a spot on analysis. I can’t think of a word that better describes them. Just wait until I have kids and they start crying. “Mini satan” is going to sound like a compliment compared to what will come out of my mouth. See, my kids are going to be called mean names for the rest of their lives, so I want to get them acclimated early. Like if anyone is going to make fun of my kids, it’s going to be me.

That’s honestly just a veteran parenting move. Bully your kid before they even get to school. That way, they’ll have a huge advantage when they get there. It’s like a preschool program, but not at all. Regardless, they’ll start school with a nice little head start. By the time all the other kids start calling each other immature insults like “stupid” and “loser”, my children will be making fun of kid’s insecurities they didn’t even know they had. Some kid will call my son an idiot, and he’ll come back with some deep shit, talking about how the boy’s Napoleon complex stems from his father’s inability to assert himself at work, which leads to his father taking his frustration out on his mother, and now his mom is on Xanax, which is why he can never have playdates at his house, so he’ll never have any friends. Yea, it’s a little over the top, but guess who’s not getting called an idiot again?

Is my parenting philosophy traditional? No, but at least I’ll get the kids fucking vaccinated.

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