Weird News

Man runs away from home and lives in the forest for 10 years to get away from wife

A gardener got so fed up with his wife’s nagging he ran away from home and lived in the woods for ten years.

Malcolm Applegate, 62, was married to his wife for three years before upping sticks after the relationship reached breaking point.

He then made his way from Birmingham, where they lived, to London – making half the three-week journey on foot after his bike was stolen, the MailOnline reported.

Malcolm said: “I was married to her for three years, but unfortunately it got too much.
“First of all I met her in Eastbourne and I married her in Birmingham.

“For three years it was alright, we got on with one another and the gardening got too much for her.

“She said, ‘Why don’t we have more time together?’ I said, ‘How can I? I have been recommended to people’.

“I just upped and left, I got fed up with her because we used to get so many arguments.
‘It took me three weeks to get back to London.

“I didn’t lock my bike up in Oxford and someone helped themselves to it, so I had to walk back from Oxford.”

The new season of “Survivor Man” looks really sad and depressing.

Is there anything better than a grown man running away from home? I have nothing but respect for this man going through with a plan that most people realize isn’t viable at age 10. As kids, we’ve all gotten angry, packed our bags, then five minutes later been like “This is a bit childish.” Not my boy Malcolm. Malcolm stuck by his guns. This is a textbook situation of making a bad decision, but sticking with it because you’re too stubborn to admit that you’re wrong. Like this guy must have regretted this plan the minute he walked out of the door, but would rather live in the wilderness for 10 years than walk back in his house to “I told you so” from his wife. They say you can’t run away from your problems, but I think Malcolm just proved you can, by literally running away from his problems.

I’m going to go ahead and say that if your gardening career is what ended your marriage, then that relationship probably wasn’t too strong in the first place. That had to be brutal for the wife. She basically got cheated on with a hydrangea. Being a gardener might also be the worst career choice I can think of.  Sorry, Malcolm, I’m not going to hire your old ass when I can go to Home Depot and hire as many illegals that my pickup truck can fit for $8 a day. Green thumbs are the new green cards.

The best/saddest part of the story is him getting his bike stolen. I can’t think of anything more humiliating than being a grown man getting your bike stolen. If I ever get to a point in life where a bike is the only thing I own, let alone gets stolen, I’m killing myself faster than anyone in history. For me, suicide is a no brainer at that point, and you really can’t convince me otherwise.

So shout out to our friend Malcolm for having the balls and shitty life to do what we’ve all dreamed of. Say what you want about a man running away from home to live in the wilderness for ten years, it’s still cheaper than divorce.

 

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