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The Weymouth vs. Brockton Youth Football game ending in a brawl is the least surprising news ever

weymouth fight

This is why we need a Weymouth John Bat Signal.

It’s refreshing to know that despite all the changes going on in this world, my hometown of Weymouth, Massachusetts is sticking to it’s roots. The best thing that Weymouth has going for it is the fact that it’s not Brockton, so it’s good that we can still assert our dominance, even if it’s just in a youth football game. Brockton is catching up to us though. I’ll admit that, but at least we have the ocean to wash away our needles.

Is there anything better than a youth football brawl? Some may say that these kids are taking youth sports too seriously, but in a town like Weymouth, where most kids die from heroin overdoses by the age of 18, youth sports are pretty important. It’s gotten to the point where they were probably selling Narcan at the concession stand. Lots of people think that youth football is a dying sport, due to the risk of serious injury, but concussions seem a bit trivial in a place where Fentanyl is considered a recreational drug.

Brockton is also a special town in it’s own way. It’s somehow able to have all the negative characteristics of an inner city, despite being located in the suburbs. I feel like youth sports are quite prominent in Brockton as well, considering most kids have 8 children by the time they get their driver’s license. It’s tough to make football practice when you gotta pay child support. I guess condoms are seen as an unnecessary cost when you have to save up for the new Jordans that are coming out.

I also assume every player on that team was at least 24 years old. If you’ve ever wondered why Brockton’s school system is so bad, it’s because it takes most of the students 7 years to graduate high school. That’s not great for the school budget, which I assume is already pretty tight. It’s must be challenging to pull in tax dollars when all of your residence are aspiring rappers.

I’m assuming Weymouth won the fan brawl, because I have a feeling that most of the Brockton players’ fathers weren’t present for the game, or their childhood. Then again, I’m pretty sure every woman in Brockton could beat the absolute shit out of me. Also most of the Weymouth dads probably already used up all their punches on their wives the night before, so it might actually be a toss up.

I’m not sure what Brockton’s mascot is, but I feel like it should just be a food stamp. The Brockton Newport Methanol 100’s also has a pretty nice ring it. I would also be down for the Brockton Used Car Dealerships.

I’m just glad that Weymouth youth sports are still the healthy past time that I remember. Hopefully they continue to grow and prosper so the boosters can afford to add brass knuckles to the uniforms.

1 comment on “The Weymouth vs. Brockton Youth Football game ending in a brawl is the least surprising news ever

  1. Mr. Hickey

    Sorry, Tim. Not a fan of this one. Too mean and too full of tired stereotypes. You are better than this!

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