Say what you want about Netflix, Hulu, and other streaming services bullying traditional cable, but there’s truly nothing like a meltdown on live television. So pure. So mean. So entertaining. I don’t care how many mini-series Netflix produces, they’ll never have a Janet Jackson nipple slip. If you think about it, the JFK Assassination was the first reality TV show. The Kennedy’s were the Kardashians before the Kardashians.
If this was five years ago, CBS would have cut to a different camera, but these days, they have to find ratings anyway possible. And if that means shoving a camera down the face of a 20 year old girl who just watched her future as a VS model go down the drain, then so be it. This is show business. No time for pity parties.
I know I should feel bad for this girl, but I can’t find the sympathy in me. I mean, if you come struttin down the runway with my grandmother’s garden on your back, you should know what you’re getting into. Don’t step in the kitchen if you can’t handle the heat. I haven’t seen something so cringe worthy that involved that much bush since I saw a 1970’s porno.
I just don’t think high heels are her thing. If I’m her, I’m just embracing the whole thing. I’d show up next year wearing a pair of Shape Ups or New Balance running shoes. Maybe even get pushed out in a wheelchair, or a bike with training wheels. I actually might go the complete opposite way, and come back next year wearing roller blades or riding a unicycle. Regardless, if that’s me, I’d have an endorsement deal with Doctor Scholls by the morning.
I also have to respect the singer for staying in tune throughout the whole situation. He has a million times the composure I’ll ever have. If that’s me up there, there’s no doubt I pee my pants on the spot. Watching people fall is, and will always be funny. I’d also like to point out that it’s definitely not way funnier because she’s Asian. Definitely does not add any comedic value to it at all. Not sure why I even thought of it. I also could have written a joke about how she’s still better at walking than driving a car, but I didn’t. You’re welcome. I didn’t have to not do that.
Lastly, I’m sick of these unrealistic costumes that the models wear. I thought the whole point of the show was to sell underwear and bras. Why are girls coming out wearing Indian headdresses? Do any girls dress like that in real life? Like “Hey Jennifer, are you almost done getting ready?” “Yea give me one second, I have to put on my feathers, my outfit’s just so boring without them”
I’m also still waiting to hear back about my modeling application I sent in a couple months ago. Must have gotten lost in their inbox or something.