So true, Bill. You think you have it bad? I remember when I used to fit into baby clothes. Not anymore, now I barely fit into an XL. Those damn clothing companies. And it’s not just clothing companies. Car companies are shortening seat belts, scales are way off, and mirrors are giving me false information.
It doesn’t stop there. The razor companies are also frauds. I remember a time when I would shave, and my facial hair wouldn’t grow back for a week. Now? I have to shave every day. It really speaks for the quality of the razors.
Oh and it gets worse. Don’t even get me started on my phone service. Every time I text a girl, I never get a response back. Talk about spotty service. Can you hear me now? Apparently not.
Banking might be the worst. I mean, I get paid every Friday, and somehow all of my money is always gone by Sunday morning. What are those idiots at Bank of America doing all day? Talk about Wall Street frauds. Where’s my bailout?
With all of that said, I just truly respect Bill O’Reilly finally mustering up the courage to blow the whistle on these crooked, greedy child laborers who are mailing it in, cutting back on material, all to take the profits back home with them to further benefit their luxurious lifestyles. Good on you, Bill. Justice is served once again. Thanks for looking out for the little guy.