Dating

It is time for me to reinvent online dating

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been too into online dating. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to strike out with girls in person. And its not that I’m scared of being catfished or anything. I would love to be catfished. Like if I went to meet up with a girl, and it ended up being some 40 year old fat guy, I’d still go through with the date. I don’t break plans like that. I’m a man of integrity. And honestly, I’d probably have a way better time with him.

I actually wish you could meet guys online to hang out with. Like think of those nights when none of your friends are down to drink because it’s actually 10am on a Tuesday. How nice would it be to meet other guys online who are down to blackout? But then again, I feel like you’d eventually have to break up with them, which would be weird. Like hey Bill, I don’t things are working out. You drink craft beer and I snuck a loko into this bar. We’re just different people. Love is a mystery I guess.

So yea online dating isn’t my thing, but I think it could be. I just have to go about it differently. All the traditional platforms are saturated, so it’s up to me to venture into corners of the internet that were not seen as places to find romantic places. Places like these:

Blackboard discussion boards

One of my classes this semester requires a lot of posting in an online discussion board, and I’ve been macking absolute game there. Just wooing both men and women with feedback on their assignments. I’m waiting on the eventual email from my professor saying “Hey Tim, can you please stop posting ‘Come to OHE’ on the discussion board at 1am?”

Craigslist

It honestly shocks me that people meet other people on Craigslist, but I once heard that you should do something that scares you everyday, so why not try. People are more willing to shop humans on Craigslist than they are with other items. Guys are more comfortable buying a girl named Cinnamon than actual Cinnamon. “Hey I think I finally found Destiny.” “Where?” “She’s waiting for me at a motel 6 a couple towns over.”

ChatRoulette 

ChatRoulette is like a woman’s career path in Hollywood, a lot of guys are going to show you their penis. I feel like that sort of puts me at an advantage though. Like if you scroll through enough penises before seeing my face, I’m gonna be looking pretty attractive in comparison.

Online Tech Assistants 

Is there anything more exhilarating than when you’re using a website’s tech support and realize you’re talking to a real person? WordPress has 24 hour tech assistants and I’m probably closer to whoever is on the other side of that than anyone else in my life. With that said, I think I might pull the trigger and attempt to take our relationship to the next level.

 

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