Weird News

Hooters will call you an Uber if your date is going poorly, because well, you’re at a Hooters

hooters date

The question “are you on a date that isn’t going well?” seems a bit rhetorical when posted in the bathroom of a Hooters. Oh the guy you met online who thought a dinner at Hooters would be a good call for a first date ended up being a creep? I’m not into victim blaming, but you should have seen that one coming. Let me guess, he was holding a fish in his profile picture?

Taking a girl on a date to Hooters is only acceptable if the girl is your sister. Also say somehow this girl wants to meet up with you again, how do you follow up a Hooters date? Do you just double down and hit a titty bar? Maybe class it up a little and get the corner booth at Applebees? Or possibly just skip those and take her right to your Klan meeting. Have her meet the boys.

And how about Hooters, a restaurant that’s made a living off objectifying women, being on the forefront of empowering them? What a world we live in where a girl is less likely to see a penis in a Hooters bathroom than a comedy club green room or movie set.

Also, if you’re over the age of 12 and have any desire to go to Hooters, you should end it. You know what’s better than provocatively dressed waitresses? Fast service. I don’t care how big your breasts are, just be proactive when it comes to refilling my water. I really don’t get the appeal of Hooters. Its not like you’re going to wheel your waitress. What’s the fantasy here? You and you’re buddies are going to bring home a Hooters girl after ordering a happy hour special and splitting the bill 3 ways with an 18% tip? Big Baller alert. It’s 2018, if I want to look at hot girls I can just go on Instagram. That way I won’t need to suffer through heartburn for the rest of the day.

With all that said, I’m definitely taking my friends to Hooters this weekend and ordering angel shots on all of them so I can get a free Uber home. Nothing funnier than accusing your boys of sexual misconduct at a Hooters on a Saturday at 11am. Classic guy stuff.


0 comments on “Hooters will call you an Uber if your date is going poorly, because well, you’re at a Hooters

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: