A blind bisexual goose, who spent years in a love triangle with two swans raising 68 cygnets, has died aged 40.
Thomas, from Waikanae, in Australia, fell in love with a black swan named Henry and went on to spend the next 24 years with him. But things got messy when a young female swan called Henrietta swooped in and stole Henry’s heart. Thomas quickly became the third wheel but instead of moving on, he decided to help the new couple raise their 68 cygnets over the next six years.
His complicated relationship made him a local celebrity with many birdwatchers spending hours watching his love life unfold. But his happiness was came to an end when Henry died in 2009 and Henrietta flew off with another swan, leaving Thomas all alone. He eventually went on to father his own babies, but they were then stolen by another goose called George.
Thomas will be buried next to Henry at they place they called home following a public ceremony later this month.
Didn’t expect to be crying in the library today but here I am. What a life Thomas had. First, our little gay prince Thomas falls for Big Dick Henry. Its heartwarming to hear that Thomas and Black Hank were breaking racial and sexual barriers 40 years ago. Sort of a Marlon Brando/Richard Pryor type relationship situation here, and I find that quite timely. I never knew the geese community was that progressive, but you learn something new every day. Actually not surprising for a specie known for sticking their necks out. And also Thomas was blind, so it was pretty easy for him not to see color. Maybe put an asterisk next to that one.
Then, as Kanye West once predicted, Henry leaves Thomas’ ass for a white girl. Get down Henry, go head, get down. Thomas should have holla’d that he wanted prenup in my opinion. Its not something that he necessarily needed to have, but when Henry eventually left him and his ass, he left with half.
I’m not going to lie, weird move by Thomas the gay tank engine just following his ex husband into his next relationship and third wheeling. Not only that, but he all of a sudden becomes what sounds like the nanny to their children. Its like when Michael Scott threw Jan a baby shower for a baby that wasn’t his.
Finally, Mandingo Henry dies, Thomas finally tries to start a family of his own, and guess what happens? He gets cucked again by George the Goose. Another weird move letting another man take your kids and not doing anything about it. Then again, maybe it was their 18th birthday and he found it they wasn’t his.
And after all that, Thomas got buried next to Henry, concluding once and for all, the weirdest nursery rhyme of all time. And that’s the story of where Canada Goose jackets come from.