World News

Student investigated after comparing square root symbol to a gun

OBERLIN, Louisiana (KSEE) — A student at Oberlin High School in Louisiana was investigated and his home was searched after he allegedly made comments interpreted as possible terrorist threats when comparing the square root math symbol to a gun.

According to local news station KATC, an investigation by the Allen Parish Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday revealed the incident began when one student drew the square root symbol while completing a math problem in class.

Another student then made a comment on the likeness of the sign to a gun, sparking opinions and comments from multiple students.

Authorities then say the student being investigated made a comment that could be interpreted as a threat when taken out of context.

Math and guns are similar in the way that students live in constant fear of both. The only difference is a gun is easier to get than calculus. I can’t steal a Pythagorean theorem from my step-dad’s safe.

This reminds me of the time I compared a Venn Diagram to my teacher’s backside. Sure he was mad, but don’t blame me for wearing pants that tight. How do you expect me to focus on calculating Pi when you’re bringing around all that cake? Talk about a room full of snacccs. That incident aside, homeschooling wasn’t that bad.

I do miss my Catholic school days when the only assault weapons we had to worry about were the priests. Sure, they were shooting kids, but in much difference sense.

Some people might argue that the police overreacted from this harmless comment, but not me. See, A square root symbol is actually quite similar to a terrorist, considering they’ve both gone through some type of radicalization.

It’s actually true that basic math is responsible for a large percentage of deaths, even today. Don’t believe me? Take a skydiver and subtract a parachute. The Axis of evil can be plotted on a graphing calculator. And technically, the civil war was caused by long division.

So congrats to this police force for identifying a deadly weapon, and thank god this student was white, or else he probably would have been shot on the spot.




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