Weird News

Did The Rock just give birth?

So the Rock had his second kid today (congrats on having sex twice), and I’m pretty sure he was the one who gave birth? I mean look at the picture.

He’s laying in the delivery bed like he just pushed the thing out. What a wild move. Where is his wife? Did he make her get the parking validated and bringing the car around front? I hope he insisted on getting wheel chaired out the front door after this.

I honestly have not ruled out the possibility that the Rock gave birth to his son. When you work out that heavily, and put that much strain on your body, eventually something is going to get pushed out, and sometime’s that’s a kid. I bet the Rock’s placenta is 90% pre-workout. He probably went live on Instagram when he started to crown. Also check out the pregnancy nips. That baby is eating good tonight.

But the reality is his wife most likely gave birth to his son, which actually makes this picture 10 times more weird. First off, why is he not wearing a shirt? Did he take his shirt off for the picture, or was he shirtless for the entirety of his wife being in labor. I feel like that’s something the only the Rock can get away with. Like if I’m in the delivery room with my future wife (who will eventually leave me for her old high school QB1 boyfriend) and I decide to take my shirt off while she’s giving birth, I think I’d be removed from the hospital entirely.

He definitely made his wife take the picture too. Tossed her right out of the bed and put her to work. And how about that baby having a goddamn mop on his head right out of the womb? That’s not normal, right?

Also, we as a human race do not give the Rock enough shit for that shitty tribal tattoo. He’s gotten off criminally when it comes to that mess on his shoulder. It’s to the point where I think he just has to tribal tat his entire body. Head to toe tribal tattoos. Make it happen. Do it for the Instagram likes.

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