Weird News

I am all in on SpaceForce

President Trump on Monday announced that he was directing the creation of a “Space Force” as a sixth service, adding to the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard.

“It is not enough to merely have an American presence in space, we must have American dominance in space,” Trump said at a meeting of the National Space Council

Trump’s on his Dr. Evil shit, and I am so here for it. Give me sharks with frickin “Laser beams”.

I cannot wait for the recruitment commercials. Oh you thought the ads for the rest of the military branches were over the top?  You haven’t seen anything yet. Picture a 30 second Michael Bay movie. I won’t be surprised if they’re in 3D.

I think this is the end of college. If you ask any 17 year old boy if they want to go to college or be Anakin Skywalker, they’re choosing fictional Star Wars character every single time. You can either take out $40,000 in loans, or we’re going to pay to shoot you up to space. At that point I’m not even showing up for the SAT’s.

“SpaceForce” literally sounds like every shitty 80’s movie. That’s a SciFi Channel made for TV film waiting to happen. Mark Whalberg must be hard as rock thinking about how’s he’s about to make himself the hero in a SpaceForce movie. You already know how the plot’s going to go. He’ll be an Ex Boston cop who left that life behind. He gets recruited to SpaceForce. His wife doesn’t want him to go, but he needs to show his son the meaning of sacrifice. Once he’s in space he’ll eventually break protocol and “do it his way”.

Also every other branch of the military is getting cucked so hard by SpaceForce. The Marines used to look cool, now they’re boy scouts compared to SpaceForce. If you’re currently in the military, transfer ASAP.

And I know people will bitch about the overspending on the military budget, but at this point, who the fuck cares? What’s the difference between $14 trillion and $15 trillion? Social security is going to run out regardless, but at least when I’m 90 years old, still making my morning commute, I can look up and see the Death Star staring back at me.

PS: Not sure “separate but equal” is the best phrase to use. A bit of a negative connotation there. DT45 probably should have run that by some people before saying it.

seperate but equal

 

 

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