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Reasonable man calls in bomb threat so he won’t miss his flight

A Dayton man who called in a bomb threat to an airport so he wouldn’t miss his flight has been sentenced to four months in prison.Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport. WCPO Photo: HANDOUT

The U.S. Attorney’s Office says 40-year-old Dana Carter, of Dayton, was sentenced Thursday for his calls to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport in October.Court records show Carter made a series of calls saying there was a bomb on a flight bound for Dallas, Texas.

The Lexington Herald-Leader reports that flight ended up being canceled due to the threat, and Carter was placed on another flight that left less than two hours later.

Carter has been ordered to pay about $7,700 in restitution to United Airlines over the canceled flight.

Carter’s attorney says the fake bomb threat was a “foolish act.”

 

Is it a little over the top to call in a bomb threat just so you don’t miss your flight? Not when you’re trying to get the fuck out of Dayton, Ohio. Have you ever been to Ohio? Once you’re there for over an hour you’re ready to call a bomb threat just to beat the inevitable boredom.

Not to be dramatic, but if I were to ever miss a flight leaving Ohio, I think I would just start walking. Just keep on walking down the street til I saw people who knew what happiness felt like. That’s when I would know I was out of Ohio. By then I’d be in Kentucky, where’d I be seen as the second coming of God, just for the fact that I still have all my teeth. “Mama there goes that boy with his fancy city teeth”. 

And realistically, a $7,700 fine for a bomb threat is an absolute deal. Calling a bomb threat on a plane is definitely not chill. Homeland security is out here giving speeding tickets for terrorism. Who’s this guy’s laywer? Jim Sokolove (@1800-Call-Jim)?

Then again would anyone even care if there was a bomb at the Cincinnati Airport? What’s the worst case scenario there? We lose a Hudson Times and the air smells like Cinnabons for a day or two? I’ll cut my losses. If I was at the Cincinnati Airport and heard my flight might have a bomb on it, I’d upgrade to first class in a heartbeat. If I’m going down I’m going down with legroom and a free complimentary drink.

1 comment on “Reasonable man calls in bomb threat so he won’t miss his flight

  1. This was hilarious! You had me at “fancy city teeth”

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