Sports

Is This the Richest Man in the World?

 

This dude has to be some type of duke or prince, right? He has a minimum of 10 beers in front of him. Now that I look closer, probably 12. I’m no mathematician, but 12 beers at $10 each? That’s gotta run you a couple hundred dollars. That’s not even including tip. I wouldn’t be surprised if the bill is in scientific notation.

If you have the means to purchase double digit beers at Fenway park I automatically put you on the same level as Jeff Bezos. This kid just fucked around and drank your tuition at a baseball game. He has the GDP of a small Central American country sitting in his stomach. He about to pay JBJ’s contract just by closing out his tab. Two more beers and I think John Henry has to legally adopt him. We traded Babe Ruth for less. All that considered, I think we finally found someone to rename Yawkey Way after.

He’s also fucking rocked. People forget that those beers are 16 ouncers. I’m pretty sure the Green Monster has servers, so he definitely hasn’t stood up in a while and is way more drunk than he thinks he is. I honestly like that feeling. It’s kind of like time traveling.

I love the showmanship of neatly placing all of his empties in front of him. Just the perfect level of arrogance. That’s a borderline art exhibit.

Also is he there by himself? I sort of hope that he is. Going to a Red Sox game, sitting on the green monster, and then drinking 12 beers by yourself is the definition of big dick energy. That’s true confidence.

What I’m most impressed with is the self discipline to be 12 beers deep and not throw a single one of those cans on to the field. Talk about acting like you’ve been there before.

If finds his way out of the park I’ll be impressed. Anyone who’s ever been intoxicated at Fenway knows how that place turns into a jungle gym when you’re trying to leave. Especially that ramp that goes in circles.

Overall, I just hope to reach that place financially where I think nothing of ordering $10 beers at Fenway that cost $3 two feet away at the Baseball Tavern. Nevertheless, I persisted.

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