It’s no secret that I’m a huge guy’s guy. I have a natural gift for befriending other men. Basically I’m gay for platonic male companionship. Despite that, I’ve been a bit nervous in regards to making new friends in New York City. I’m just afraid people will be intimidated by my bad boy vibe. I mean I can’t blame them. What do I expect?It just comes with the territory of being the deadliest thing to arrive in Manhattan from Boston since
So with that said, it’s no surprise that I’ve already made a new best friend in New York, and I haven’t even moved to the Windy City yet. How did this happen? Well it all went down on a little website called Craigslist.
It started with me posting an innocent inquiry for housing in Sin City. I was sick of trying to seek out normal people, and decided that posting an ad of my own would let the people come to me. So put my dainty little fingers to the keyboard, and posted something on the lines of “23 year old jackhammer in search of a fortress to build blog empire from”. Just a run of the mill inquiry if you ask me.
Being the hot commodity that I am, obviously I got tons of responses. Women threw themselves at me, sliding off their chairs before they could even press send. Men were offering me their own beds. It was chaos in the streets (my Gmail account). Also the emails were mostly from people telling me to wire them money for a $600/month two bedroom in Greenwich Village that was definitely real. (Completely unrelated I’m out $1800)
Despite that, I did receive one email that seemed truly genuine:
Off the wall? Not at all. This is one of those beautiful moments in life where I have absolutely no idea what’s about to happen next. This is what I live for. I can’t wait to see where this takes me.
Of course I wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about, and I assumed he meant pro-wrestling. Maybe he wanted to live with someone who would split Wrestlemania PPV with? That’s harmless, right? So I decided to reply:
Straight and to the point. Then he (I assume its a he?) hits me back with this:
Did a complete stranger on Craigslist ask you to be his wrestle partner/new best friend? That’s why I’m me and you’re you.
I’m not sure if I should be flattered or in a witness protection program. I mean, psycho move perusing Craigslist daily in search of a friend. And he’s also doing it in the housing section of the site, preying on the fear of people who just moved to the city. Honestly I love it. Just the definition of shooting your shot.
Also who the fuck wrestles for fun? Wrestling is exclusively for high school football players who need to stay in shape during the winter and aren’t good at basketball. That might be the truest thing I’ve ever written.
I think it’s just because I don’t trust myself in a sport where the starting position is doggy style. The ref would start the countdown and I’d be like “do you mind if we start with something a bit more intimate?” I’d also be afraid my primal instincts would kick in. I can already picture the news headline in the sports section: “Despite coming in dead last, McCue managed to always finish first”
I’d honestly be down to meet up with this kid, but everyone knows I’m not a wrestler. Tickle fights? That’s a different story. I’ll square up in a game of fuzzy fingers on sight. I’m all for a round of Haha’s and Hand Stuff. Knock knock, who’s there? It’s the tickle monster coming straight for your armpits. Bitch.
So yea. I think I just made a new best friend. That or I’m being lured in by a rapist. Either way it just feels good to branch out a bit. New city new me. I guess.