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Man Shits Pants on Airline; Claims He “Sat in it”… Yea Okay

“Not another flight that smells bad,” Matthew Meehan recalled thinking as he boarded Delta flight 1949 in Atlanta on Thursday night — 115 years into the age of powered flight and God knows how long into the nightmare of modern air travel.


Meehan told Yahoo News that he noticed his neighbor mate was also in apparent olfactory distress. He bent down under his seat to find a phone charger, and instead discovered the foulness’s source.


“It’s not just a smell,” he told Yahoo, reliving the memory. “It’s actually feces and it’s all over the back of my legs, it’s all over the floor, all over the wall of the plane. And I sat in it.”


In the initial confusion, Meehan said, he didn’t know who or what the feces came from, or how it got on his flight to Miami.


In a statement this week, Delta apologized to Meehan and acknowledged that “the area around his seat was not appropriately cleaned following an incident involving an ill emotional support animal.” The company said a cleaning crew finally boarded after Meehan complained and disinfected the area.


Landing in Miami was not the end of his ordeal, he told Yahoo. He said he had a connecting flight to Tampa, but took a four-hour Uber ride rather than board another plane.

Washington Post

 

Is there anything more obvious than the fact that this guy shit his pants and is trying to put the blame on Delta? Oh feces just happened to appear all down the back of your legs? Likely story, Matthew. Likely story.

With the food options at most airport terminals, I’m honestly surprised more people don’t shit their pants during flights. Because unless you want to go to that sports bar where burgers are $18, it’s either Burger King or a Hudson News.

I also never understood people who work at airport terminal restaurants and stores. Like out of all of the Dunkin Donuts you could work at, why apply to the one where you have to drive to the fucking airport everyday? There’s no way that’s convenient for anyone. No one should have to go through TSA to brew coffee. 

I think the exception to that rule is being an airport bartender. I’m a huge fan of airport bars. I think I might start going out to them on the weekends. All of you schmucks will be waiting in lines to get into bars in the Meatpacking district and East Village while I’m tearing up a Chili’s at Laguardia. I’ll black out and wake up in a different state. Turn it into an airport bar crawl. 

Admittedly, I am an expert at pooping my pants. You don’t eat the foods I do, and not have an incident once in a while. I drank a coffee from Taco Bell yesterday. (The more you read that the sadder it gets) After I left I was walking through Times Square waiting for my stomach to explode. Felt like a suicide bomber. So yes Matthew, I’ve been there. You can’t fool me. Real recognize real. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. Literally.

But apparently, an emotional support animal had explosive diarrhea on the previous flight. Sort of ruins the whole point of having an emotional support animal, no? Yea there’s nothing more soothing than an animal continuously defecating in a cramped space in the middle of the sky with no escape. 

I also can’t blame Delta for not cleaning up the poop. If I’m a plane janitor (is that the job title?) and discover shit all over a seat, I’m acting like I never saw it and going home early. 

Lastly, how about this guy taking a 4 hour Uber? That’s a straight up psychopath move. I was in an Uber (pool) for 20 minutes last night and thought about killing myself 4 different times. I can’t spend four hours with myself, let alone other people. 

Also what Uber driver is taking that job? Sure you make a lot with the four hour drive, but you also have to drive four hours back for free. 

In the end, I’m glad I strictly fly with a much more respected airline. Spirit. Feces are the least of your concerns when you’re not sure if the plane even works. 

 

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