These are thoughts that aren’t big enough for their own blogs, and random jokes I don’t have anywhere to put, but my ego has gotten big enough that I feel the need to post them. I hate myself.
“What do you call a strip club Syria? A petting zoo.”
“Putting a “Prove People Wrong” sticker on the bumper of your ’98 Corolla is easiest way to prove people right.
“Pet stores and Asian Delis are eerily similar”
“I once read an article about suicide in Life Magazine”
“I think I’m going to name my wallet virginity so I can finally lose it.”
“Homeless people holding signs stating they’re homeless seems redundant”
“I hope to one day find someone I fall in love with, every day, all over again, as we wake up in our bed every morning together naked….For now, I guess my dad will have to do.”
“I’ve definitely been to this rest stop before”- Me, not being able to comprehend that all rest stops looks the same.
“I used a gender neutral a bathroom today and ended up giving birth. Those things do really work”